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Between You and Me.
I never believed you,
I only wanted to.

.....

Lying back to back
I was counting your breaths
to make sure your lack of
heart
didn't leave you
dead.

....

Like a ghost
the fading memories of your touch
kept screaming
what I was trying to forget.

...

Oh, why did I give it up to you?

..

I know it's my fault.
My expectations were greater than
what you were willing to offer,
and I got scared.

I tried shutting you out,
to gather myself together
behind a shield of apathy,
but only ended up in
self-destruction.

.

Your kiss never tasted as
intoxicatingly bitter
as the last time
I made love to you...
I Don't Need A MakeupI want to remove this paint in my face
To be simple and be myself
Uncomfortable in this gorgeous phase
True beauty, I want to see for yourself

I don't need any eye liner
Making my eyes dark and sad
It isn't good nor better
For me, I look like bad

I don't need a lipstick
Coloring my lips cherry red
It makes me sick, and i can't speak
For it is being said

I don't need a makeup, I am beautiful
People just don't see its true
They want me to put some more, plentiful
For they are used to

They make me look like a clown
If I wore makeup again
For me, they are putting me down
Like saying that I'm ugly for being me, now and then

-SL
CancerFeel the pain aching through your bones
Your flesh, seemingly fading to dust
Your mind, burning
Your thoughts, racing.
Dying.
Breaking.

"It'll be okay."
No it won't.
"I know."

Fight the tears, your father can't see you cry.
After all
You're a fighter.
Right?

"You can do this."
No, I can't.
"Thank you."

Breathe.
Slower.
Slower.
No.
Faster.
Stop.

Shut up.

You
Can't
Win.

After all
You don't have cancer.

Cancer
Is who you are.
MessEverywhere I go
Every single place
The troubles seem to grow
Every smiling face
Eventually frowns with woe

Why can't I do
Anything right
I just screw
Up everything despite
The happiness I try to spew

Is it me
Am I the source of this ache
Does the pain flow free
Is this what I make
People be?

Should I go away and hide
Never to see others
Or the outside
But would I stop another's
Pain and be the only one that ever cried

What is a life with no grey
When everyone is sad
I'd give it all away
It wouldn't be that bad
I would finally be able to say

I saved a life
Please Kindly Leave My Brain"LEAVE ME ALONE!"
That's what I want to say.
I don't mean it.
I need you.

"I'm Fine,"
That's what I say.
I don't mean it.
I'm dying from the inside out.
Tired.
Nervous.
Scared.
Jealous.
Angry.
Mad.
Insane.
Feel like shit... again...

"I'm just not hungry,"
I say.
Which is true. But with a deeper meaning...
No Food.
I'll starve my body into death.

"I'm sure I'll live,"
Please.
Please don't say that.
What if your not sure?
You die. I die.
That's the situation.

How can I be happy, If I know you're not?

It's immpossible.

I need you're hugs too much...
ChangedPromise is a big word.
That you've obviously never learned.
And forever is a long time,
With a lot of bumps and turns.

Don't tell me that you love me.
Until you know what that means.
I won't be second option.
Taking the backseat.

You used to be big on the truth.
You aren't the boy I knew.
The lies that leave your mouth,
Tends to prosper who?

Now everything you say.
Always seems to change
Pick yourself up.
And get your story straight.
bye-byesay bye-bye...
cos' it's finally been done
...kinda...
but now i only say sorry to myself;
no one else.

say bye-bye...
cos' this wound is too great
and now i'm bleedin' out
and now i'm numb...

say bye-bye...
cos' i can't pretend
that it's all okay...
i can't live on in this ever real fantasy.

say bye-bye...
cos' to remain selfless
means to remain here
with this all...

to remain here,
i must kill myself inside
not out..
and love...

my love...
you'll never know the love i hold
in this deep pit of pain...
say bye-bye...

bye-bye to the me you know...
and hello to someone you'll hate
forever and ever...
and ever and ever and ever...
I hate myself.I hate myself.

Mainly for confiding in her.
Everyone says to talk.
But I use it to be mean.
I feel like I have to be depressed all the time.

When actually I'll do better if they don't know.

I feel sick.
So sick because I hate myself so much.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't know what plan I'm following in my head...

It's best I go to bed...
Nobody Told MeNobody told me,
How to act.
I wish I knew how much was too much,
or when too little was not enough.
If somebody told me,
that the small things meant the most,
and the big things were forgettable;
Where would I be today?

Nobody told me,
Who to love.
What came of the people I knew
and who were the people I would have known?
If somebody told me,
that I HAD the perfect person,
or that I am with the wrong one;
Would I be able to live with myself?

Nobody told me,
How to feel.
Is what I am feeling right or wrong,
and which should I act upon?
If somebody told me,
that I was being overly obsessive,
or that I should have let go:
Dear Dad 
 
Dear dad I love you.
 
Dear dad you were my world, but that world began to change.
 
Dear dad; why did you hit mom and make me watch?
 
Dear dad; why did you beat my brother?
 
 
 
Dear dad I will do anything you ask, just show me you can change for the better.
 
Dear dad; why did you corner me?
 
Dear dad; why can’t I stop shaking and crying?
 
Dear dad; why did I believe you could change?
 
Please someone help me! 
By nora038   
Birds Inside my Bedroom WallsThere are strange noises late that night
that rouse me from my peaceful slumber.

Chirp, tweet,
tweet, chirp.
There are birds inside my bedroom walls.

They sing and they call.
At first,
I think it's coming from outside
while I lay in my bed and listen,
but then I hear it clear as day,
unclear as darkest night,
as they talk to me,
from within my bedroom walls.

"There are birds in my walls, mother
we must get them out.
They're singing, they're crying,
they're asking me to free them.
We must save them.
They're trapped."

And she says,
"There are no birds in the walls, honey.
You're dreaming.
The birds don't share their songs at night
Goodbye...I don't think I love you anymore.

I have loved you for a year and 10 months and you never noticed.
I hope it isn't just because I haven't seen you in ages.
I really hope so.
Because if it is.
As soon as I see your face all of that love will come rushing back.
But with love comes pain.

I must be over you.
Because I've fallen for a man created in my brain.

Who cheers me up.
Who holds me when I cry.
Who talks to me when I'm alone.
Who helps me when I've hurt myself.
Who loves me for me.
Who understands me.

And I know he doesn't exist so he can't be you.

I don't think I've let you go though.
Not completly...
I don't know who I am anymore.I don't know who I am anymore.

A person who wants to kill herself.
But wants to cry and then wants to laugh.

Who makes a joke about cutting.
But then gets triggered by the word cut.

Who over analysises ever thing.
Who dreams pathetic dreams.

Who hasn't got the courage to do anything.
Who disobeys her plan not to talk about her feelings.
Who gets so jealous if others have it worse off.
That's why she complains.
But she shouldn't. Complaining stops her being the worst off.

She planned to give up on love.
But couldn't even do that.

Who can control her anger.
But doesn't want to because it pains her soul.

She planned to commit suicide.
B
The Layers of SkinShe laughs out loud.
Talking to herself.
She's crazy.
She doesn't care though.
She's happy.

She laughs.
She smiles.
This girl is surrounded with her friends.
Happy with her life.

She sighes.
She cries.
She can't cope with the stress.
Stress of work.
Stress of life.

Then the feeling that all of these other feelings simmer to eventually.
Depressed.
Dead.
Down.
Drained.

She wants to scream.
She wants to shout.

She wants to let it all out.
But her anger she must bury.
Otherwise a rampage of spilling out swear words and other vile.
Out of control, reckless and stupid.
Not thinking of consequences.
So look emotionles
LullabyThere's a lifetime in my eyes,
But I'm not yet an adult,
Whispers and wonders and wounds,
Pour from my eyes in my tears,
Everything I held back,
As you hold me,
Is let out in bursts of emotion.
Tell me it's okay,
So I can cling tighter onto the hope you give me,
Tell me It's okay,
So I can hold on a little longer,
So I can let myself go.
Sing to me,
Lull me to sleep,
Whisper your song to me,
Take my heart with your words,
And hold me,
So I can sleep softly,
And dream peacefully.

Speak sweet lullabies to me,
So I can remain calm,

And be freed from my horrific passion,

Let me drown in my one true obsession.
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Something began to tell me to write,
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I decided to write on my folder.
The smell of a marker invades my nose,
as I began to write the words I begin all the poetry with,
Not with a bang
but a whimper...,
the meaning could mean a million things
I could write about my eyes,
I decide to write my heart out.
The scent of marker stings my eyes as I write.
I do not stop.
Eyes like broken glass
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Popular!FrancexShy!Reader Strong Voice-part 5It was the most difficult thing you could possibly do. Ivan was making you choose between him and Francis. Francis held your hand close to his mouth,kissing your knuckles as if you were a queen. His gentle hands made you feel like the most important person in the world. That was what made you embarrassed. "Francis, what am I going to do? If I do what Ivan says, we can never be together again. If I stay with you, them you,me,Gilbert,and Antonio will be in trouble with the school. I don't know what to do." your quiet voice left you and now you were sobbing in a loud voice. Well, loud for you anyway. Francis held you close to his chest, letting

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×

What I long for...

:iconsilversongalchemist:

You laugh at the stories I read so carefully.
The ones full of something you don't believe in.
The thing I want so badly that you have taken for granted.
The thing you seem to not feel inside for the ones who do.

You gave yourself away to anyone who asked for you.
Unlike I who is still waiting for this.
You are the popular one who is touched by all.
Unlike I who is unknown and touched by no one.

You ask me why I wait and think for myself.
I ask why you didn't and why you do not.
You ask me why I am not known by all.
I ask why you are.

I look at those who gaze at you and wonder,
'Are there any who gaze at me?'
I sometimes wish I were confident like you,
but then I think I do not need it.

I wonder what you feel,
I wonder how you live,
I wonder if you think,
because you carry a burden I don't.

I feel so sad,
I feel like a no one,
I envy you sometimes,
because you have someone who follows.

What is this thing you scoff so easily?
What is this thing I long for so badly?
What is thing you take for granted?
What is this thing you don't really have at all?

Love......
That is what I want so badly.
That is what you laugh at so easily.
That is what you don't really have at all...

It may seem pathetic.
It may be stupid.
But it is my wish,
I want someone to hold.

I want more than family,
I want more than friends.
It's something they can't give my aching heart.
I want to find the one for me.

I want the gaze you steal from them.
I want the thing you have and don't believe in.
I wish for the thing you have stolen from them all.
I want to be seen by someone.

Someone save my lonesome heart,
I want a hand to hold.
I want strong arms to keep me standing.
I want warm eyes to soothe my pain.

I wish I could say yes to anyone,
but I just don't have that kind of courage.
I cannot make the same mistake again,
because I cannot risk being hurt again.

Is there anyone out there?
Anyone who can ease this hurt I feel?
Somebody save me.....
because the weight of the world I getting too heavy.

Too
heavy
for
me
to
carry
alone....

112

16 24 2
:iconsilversongalchemist:

What I long for...by ~SilverSongAlchemist

DescriptionDetailsShare
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This is it
This is what I've been hiding
I know it sounds depressing
I know it sounds not like me
but this is it
The thing I want most is to find love.
The same kind of real love as what my Mom and Dad have.
Not the fake kind thats about nothing but making out and sex.
I want a good man that will love me for me.
Not that I'll find him where I live.
My Mom got lucky and found my Dad here.
I guess I'm not as lucky.
©2012-2013 ~SilverSongAlchemist
Category: Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

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December 29, 2012
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:iconjayalaw:
~JayaLaw Dec 30, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
You will be happy like your parents; you got their genetics for a reason. Love is a fickle bird but rewarding when tamed. In the meantime, do you need a friend?
Reply
:iconsilversongalchemist:
~SilverSongAlchemist Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you.
I have lots of friends but you can never have too many.
Reply
:iconjayalaw:
~JayaLaw Dec 30, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I agree; it's just that we may be kindred spirits.
Reply
:iconsilversongalchemist:
~SilverSongAlchemist Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
What makes you say that, Cher?
Reply
:iconjayalaw:
~JayaLaw Dec 30, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
For starters, men have been a disappointment since I've gotten interested in them. At the same time I remain an optimistic romantic that a good one is out there.
Reply
:iconsilversongalchemist:
~SilverSongAlchemist Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sounds about right
Reply
:iconjayalaw:
~JayaLaw Dec 31, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I blame Meg Cabot; her romance novels are full of dream guys for office girls and students. At the same time, she offers hope and compassion.
Reply
:iconsilversongalchemist:
~SilverSongAlchemist Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I have to agree there. I actually have a couple of her books.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconbranded-rose:
~Branded-Rose Dec 30, 2012  Student Digital Artist
You'll find someone eventually. :)
Reply
:iconsilversongalchemist:
~SilverSongAlchemist Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks Rosie
Reply
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